UNPLANNED NEVADA EDUCATION

UNPLANNED NEVADA EDUCATION
(Written about 2001, one of the many unique adventures I had during my 10yrs living in USA)

Okay, I am now settled at my puter, got a little liquid sustenance and a
pack of Marlboros next to me, flood lit the garden and watching some deer
drinking at the waterhole outside, and now ready to tell you a story of an
unplanned 'education' on my return trip to Tekzaz via LA..

Having spent a wonderful week with a friend in Las Vegas, soaking up some
dry desert air and relaxing, I headed on up the US95 toward Death Valley.
The radio was tuned to some fine classic rock, traffic was sparse, weather
was fabulous, snow capped mountains were clear and I had a happy smile on
my dial. Life could not have been better having taken a little detour up
into the Toiyabe National Forest area and reveled in the beauty of the
place.

At the dusty windswept junction of US 95 and the road to Death Valley there
were two gas stations with the usual store and diner. No other habitation
in sight. Just sort of a one horse hick siding in the middle of no where.
It was time to fill up with Diet coke, and not knowing when next I would
eat, opted to breeze on in and catch a bite.
The store was large, yet exceedingly sparten, with only one soft drink
cooler and many shelves laden with T-shirts and other apparel. Not being a
'shopper' I didn’t look at anything and headed on back up some steps to a
small diner area, with linoleum floor, a few tables with plastic flowers
poked into vases, and a kitchen type bar, which also served beer and other
hard tack type 'likker'.

There was a kid from Iowa working the place to get away from the cold
Northern winter wastelands. He is studying horticulture, specifically
golf course and green management because he is stoked on golf and needs to
work on a golf course to play for free and maintain his handicap.

I ordered some eggs and bacon and asked if I was allowed to smoke. This is
a very valid question these days. In California they treat fine and fabulous
smokers like filthy lepers...it is positively scandalous. With that, the
kid pushed an ashtray over to me and I reached for some book matches. That
is when I thought I would choke. On the match book was ......."Las Vegas'
Closest Brothel'...Minutes away/24hrs a day with their www.com handle.....
we take Master Card, Visa, ATM.....Japanese Baths, Photography, Dominance,
Desired fantasies, Largest selection of girls" and a photo of a naked big
boobed blonde on the cover. .

As I was choking and spluttering and muttering "Bloody hell, is this for
REAL????", much to the mirth of the Iowa kid, my breakfast arrived, cooked
by a real ancient stubble faced fella who I think, by the looks of him,
might have been a miner from the 1890's. The kid smiled and asked if I
would like to see the "Brothel Sexual Menu," which made me do another
double take as he reached below the bar counter and produced a 30 page
glossy colour booklet. Certainly not the sort of literature I thought I
would ever page through over breakfast, but life is full of surprises and
this was becoming quite an 'educational' breakfast.

The Brothel 'menu' is actually quite a hoot and at my request he gave me
numerous copies which I have given to friends who think this whole episode
very funny. Suffice to say there are two pages of "Super Saving Coupons".
i.e. $50 discount with coupon in the Fantasy Land Dungeon; With coupon, a
FREE Sexual Position Demonstration ; $50 discount with coupon for "2 girl
party in V.I.P. room". The rest of the stuff and goodies available I do
not wish to elaborate upon...but it sure as hell made this little foreign
fem feel like a real country hick!

So I said to the kid, "Naa, ya gotta be kidding me, is this for real?"
"Sure " he said, "see the red door out the window behind you, that’s it. It
has a security buzzer" And with that some fella in a suit sidled in.
I put on my specs and read the splurge on the door about how weekly medical
'inspections' keep the girls clean etc etc and all this is written on the
door...!!!!!??

Okay, it is for real, I am now having breakie in a whore house. So I start
asking the kid questions in between eating eggs and slurping inferior
coffee. I asked what sort of men visited here.... (opted NOT to ask "
'come' here".) He said mainly the suit and tie brigade and tons of
Orientals.
The big talk at the moment is of some oriental gentleman who paid $15K
for a night of whatever..... Again I nearly choked on some bacon, was
momentarily speechless, then asked what the hell he got for $15000......
followed quickly by......"No don’t tell me, I really don’t wanna
know"....but the mind certainly boggles at the thought . He prolly took
over the whole place.
When making man, God erred. He forgot to put a safety valve at the base of
the cranium to prevent his brain from sliding way way down. There also
seems to be a severe male problem in getting the gray matter back where it
belongs, 'tween his ears. Even the Prez (was Clinton at the time) suffers from this sinking brain malady.

The Iowa kid said that many men pop into the bar for a few beers, and watch
the door, plucking up courage to venture in. Beer gives them the chutzpah 'n
courage, then they straighten their tie, neaten their jacket, and next
thing the kid sees them enter the infamous Red Door.
He eventually had me in fits of mirth and suggested I go on in and say
"Hi" to the girls and check out what a brothel looks like. Well hell, I
did actually think about it for a moment before declining the offer.

On my way out, I checked out the T-shirts and souvenirs, which he said are
hot sellers. The slogans were ....hmm...interesting... and not the sort of
thing I would have imagined anyone would wear, certainly not around wives
and girlfriends.

So that was an interesting and rather unexpected start to the adventure in
Death Valley.....Cherry Patch 11, Cherry Patch Ranch and Mabels
Whorehouse....The Best Little Whorehouses in Nevada...or so the 'menu'
book says. By the way the owner is from Arkansas..... and that’s a fact.

The rest of the day was far more savory. Death Valley is fabulous,
awesome, amazing, enchanting and needs lots of time to explore, walk the
canyons and trails, and soak it all up. There are sights there that I
would like to see in early morning and late evening light. I also figure it
might be pretty cool to view it from a Harley and have the added sense of
freedom that mode of transport would afford. There are two dirt runways in
the valley but one really needs transport to explore the place.

US of A continues to enchant me. Every experience and adventure I have, the
soul of this country sinks deeper and deeper into my system. Be proud of
it. Realize what an honor it is for you to have been born in this country
and be a citizen of it. Please instill in your children how lucky they are
to be born American..

Take care.

--penny--- (with a wry smile on my dial:-)

P.S. The final detail of this breakfast episode happened in STL Lambert
Airport (St Louis) on my return flight to Tekzaz. I had stuffed my pockets with those
book matches and had been using them. At STL they have sort of glass
goldfish bowl like rooms packed with smokers and I always stop in there and
BS with the crowd, who are usually quite chatty and rather amusing. Well,
one fella asked for a light and without thinking I put my hand in my jacket
pocket and handed him a book of matches.....As he read the cover, I
cringed....... he handed it back to me with a sly smile and said
nothing!